On Being Single

Over the past coupe of weeks, I have been running relentlessly between work, this practice or that practice for my daughter, keeping up with the house after getting home after 8:00 every night....and so on and so on.  Somewhere in there I have managed to find time to throw pitty parties over my single life.  I think I went through every woe in the book.  "I have to do all this alone."  "The bed feels so empty." "My dog can't hold a conversation."  Over Easter weekend, while my daughter was with her father, I sunk into a book.  At one point that Saturday, I actually crawled out from under my rock, got dressed up with my best hair and make-up and decided to go out an explore my fine city.  I got as far as the end of my block before I turned around and went right back home.  I had no idea where I was going, why I was going, what I wanted to do.  So, I went back home, scrubbed my faced and sunk back into my fictional world. It was pitiful.  Truly pitiful.  

For the past few days I have felt the same way.  Unworthy, unattractive, unnoticed.  I go through these phases at times (usually when I am alone).  What makes it worse is the little bit of guilt I have when I actually do enjoy the alone time.  I always feel like I should miss my daughter every moment that she is gone.  The reality is I DO miss her...terribly, but I also realize that the time apart gives me a chance to rejuvenate that some single parents, with no co-parent, never have.  It's a needed time to keep your sanity.  What snapped me out of it today was a conversation with a fellow divorcee who is also battling the lonely bug.  So, now I've moved to a "I'm not looking" phase. 

I sat down tonight and realized that there really are some benefits to being single.  Do they trump the desire for companionship?  Not really, but they take out a little of the sting.  They really are nice benefits that I never had when I was married (mainly because I felt more like a maid and keeper than a wife).

Half the Laundry
Half the dishes
Not fighting for covers in bed
Being able to lay in bed all day and read a book
Not having to "check in"
Going when I feel like going
Eating when I feel like eating
Eating WHAT I feel like eating
Leaving my curling iron on the bathroom counter
Not fighting over the TV remote
Watching "chick flicks" when I want
Reading in bed without complaints about the light
Not having to wake another person up for work or school
Talking to who I want to talk to
Taking off on a random roadtrip
Leaving my nail polish on the coffee table
Not having to fight the toilet seat battle

Then sometimes...just sometimes...I would give anything to have those burdens back (not too often, though)

Your Past Does not Define You

Dreamstime.com

Your past does not define you.  Your trials do not define you.  You are defined by who you are right now and the choices you make.

• Buzz Aldrin struggled with depression and alcoholism.
• Franklin D. Roosevelt was paralyzed from the waste down.
• Albert Einstein failed math.
• JK Rowling is a single mom.
• Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper be cause they said he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.
• Jim Carry was homeless for a while.
• Charlize Theron saw her mother kill her father.

Your past does not define you.  Your trials do not define you.  You are defined by who you are right now and the choices you make.

Choose wisely, and let go of your past.

God's Not Dead

Picture from http://godsnotdeadthemovie.com/ 

From one Christian's perspective on the movie, God's Not Dead (Check out my challenge to viewers at the end).

What a few others are saying about it...

The Good...(these were hard to find and mostly (not surprisingly) from Christian sites.

"This movie is a powerful tool to remind every viewer: God is certainly not dead!" ~ The Dove Foundation

"I highly recommend this movie to believers. If you are an apologist seeking to evaluate this movie with the academic rigor of the classroom, you may be disappointed in some areas. I would not recommend you looking for something in this movie that would stretch you. However, I believe it will encourage you. " - Ratio Christi

"The film is slickly produced, with a competent cast..." Stephen Farber (The Hollywood reporter)

"With biblically orthodox Christian faith under unprecedented attack in America today, 'God's Not Dead' is a timely and thought-provoking look at religious freedom and standing up for your faith and convictions," said Chris Stone, certified brand strategist and founder of Faith Driven Consumer (Via Christian Post)

The Bad (these were all over the place, so I picked some of the most critical)....

"Less-than-heavenly production values show through the shot-in-Louisiana pic at every turn." Scott Foundas (Variety)

"All these are aimed at faith promotion, a good and worthy cause, but they are just so heavy handed, it's hard to take them seriously." Steve Salles (The Standard Examiner) 

"While that may be a welcome piece of news to those who were entertaining any doubts, the message movie that endeavors to proclaim such reassurance from the big screen turns out to be earnest but ineffective." John Mulderig Catholic News Service

"... the overall tone of God’s Not Dead is a bit heavy-handed; its message does not seem entirely effective when it only serves to preach to the choir." Hollywood Life 

The Scathing...(a couple out of a few)

"Even by the rather lax standards of the Christian film industry, God’s Not Dead is a disaster. It’s an uninspired amble past a variety of Christian-email-forward boogeymen that feels far too long at just 113 minutes. Resembling a megachurch more than a movie, it’s been designed not to convey any particular message, but to reinforce the stereotypes its chosen audience already holds." AV Club 

"The few characters that are not Christians in the film are depicted as satanic creatures, malevolent beings incapable of contributing joy to this world. According to the film, all Atheists are strident intellectuals who act immorally and with reckless abandon, putting down anyone “of faith” without giving them an opportunity to speak." Film School Rejects

***These two reviews, in particular, along with a post by James Kirk Wall about an interview with Sorbo, are the ones that really had me agonizing over this post.  Their comments were so lopsided and critical of the targeted Christian audience (not just the movie).  I wanted to make sure that anything I wrote did not sink to a level of ineffectiveness that it failed to offer a sound opinion and personal insight about the movie without placing a target on the back of other beliefs. Hyper-critical posts,such as those above, venomously stereotype Christians in the same way that they accuse Christians of stereotyping non-believers.  

FROM MY PERSPECTIVE...

The super brief story: (watch the MOVIE TRAILER)

The few characters that are not Christians in the film are depicted as satanic creatures, malevolent beings incapable of contributing joy to this world. According to the film, all Atheists are strident intellectuals who act immorally and with reckless abandon, putting down anyone “of faith” without giving them an opportunity to speak. Of course the irony is unbelievably rich, as it is director Harold Cronk who is not giving the opposition a chance to chime in. The dialogue Atheist characters are forced to spew is often mean-spirited, close-minded and idiotic.
Read more at http://filmschoolrejects.com/reviews/gods-not-dead.php#e8fLtsViqoUlHE8z.99

The few characters that are not Christians in the film are depicted as satanic creatures, malevolent beings incapable of contributing joy to this world. According to the film, all Atheists are strident intellectuals who act immorally and with reckless abandon, putting down anyone “of faith” without giving them an opportunity to speak. Of course the irony is unbelievably rich, as it is director Harold Cronk who is not giving the opposition a chance to chime in. The dialogue Atheist characters are forced to spew is often mean-spirited, close-minded and idiotic
Read more at http://filmschoolrejects.com/reviews/gods-not-dead.php#e8fLtsViqoUlHE8z.99

The few characters that are not Christians in the film are depicted as satanic creatures, malevolent beings incapable of contributing joy to this world. According to the film, all Atheists are strident intellectuals who act immorally and with reckless abandon, putting down anyone “of faith” without giving them an opportunity to speak. Of course the irony is unbelievably rich, as it is director Harold Cronk who is not giving the opposition a chance to chime in. The dialogue Atheist characters are forced to spew is often mean-spirited, close-minded and idiotic
Read more at http://filmschoolrejects.com/reviews/gods-not-dead.php#e8fLtsViqoUlHE8z.99

The few characters that are not Christians in the film are depicted as satanic creatures, malevolent beings incapable of contributing joy to this world. According to the film, all Atheists are strident intellectuals who act immorally and with reckless abandon, putting down anyone “of faith” without giving them an opportunity to speak. Of course the irony is unbelievably rich, as it is director Harold Cronk who is not giving the opposition a chance to chime in. The dialogue Atheist characters are forced to spew is often mean-spirited, close-minded and idiotic.
Read more at http://filmschoolrejects.com/reviews/gods-not-dead.php#e8fLtsViqoUlHE8z.99

The few characters that are not Christians in the film are depicted as satanic creatures, malevolent beings incapable of contributing joy to this world. According to the film, all Atheists are strident intellectuals who act immorally and with reckless abandon, putting down anyone “of faith” without giving them an opportunity to speak. Of course the irony is unbelievably rich, as it is director Harold Cronk who is not giving the opposition a chance to chime in. The dialogue Atheist characters are forced to spew is often mean-spirited, close-minded and idiotic.
Read more at http://filmschoolrejects.com/reviews/gods-not-dead.php#e8fLtsViqoUlHE8z.99

The few characters that are not Christians in the film are depicted as satanic creatures, malevolent beings incapable of contributing joy to this world. According to the film, all Atheists are strident intellectuals who act immorally and with reckless abandon, putting down anyone “of faith” without giving them an opportunity to speak. Of course the irony is unbelievably rich, as it is director Harold Cronk who is not giving the opposition a chance to chime in. The dialogue Atheist characters are forced to spew is often mean-spirited, close-minded and idiotic.
Read more at http://filmschoolrejects.com/reviews/gods-not-dead.php#e8fLtsViqoUlHE8z.99

The movie centers around a Christian college freshman who is challenged by his atheist philosophy professor to prove the existence of God.  This is the nucleus around which 5 other characters revolve.  

The Technical Stuff:
I have to agree with some of the negative posts when it comes to the general layout of the movie  I am in no way a critic,nor do I have any background in film or performing arts.  However, even to the untrained eye, I could sense that the movie sequencing was off and there were some mediocre actors.  The plot was jumpy.  It took me a bit to catch on and keep up with what was happening in the lives of the characters.  It was clearly not produced for sheer entertainment value, but to deliver a message.  Unfortunately, that message is hard to see if you can't keep up with flips and flops.

The Cast:

Professor Radisson (Kevin Sorbo) - His portrayal is the extreme version of bitter, angry atheist.  The character has brought much criticism from the atheist community, who see it as an attack and stereotype that would lead people to believe all atheists are bad, evil, people.   

Josh Wheaton (Shane Harper) - The freshman pre-law major who must decide to sit back and deny his beliefs to the atheist professor, or stand up and defend them.  Not only does he have to deal with the overly aggressive prof, he has to deal with the impacts of his decision to stand up for his faith with an unsupportive girlfriend and family while potentially destroying his future career. 


Reverend Dave (David A.R. White) - a hip minister who plays a small role in the decision of Josh to defend the existence of God.  He is fighting his own battle that many Christians face...wondering if he is where God wants him to be.

Mark (Dean Cain) - The successful executive.  He is brute, selfish, and the extreme version of a narcissist.

Amy Ryan (Trisha LaFache) - A super liberal reporter and girlfriend of Mark.  She is out for blood on any issues that are part of her agenda, including Christianity and animal rights.  Then her world is turned upside down with a cancer diagnosis.

Mina (Cory Oliver) - The Christian girlfriend of Prof. Radisson.  She struggles with being in a relationship with an atheist who not only has different beliefs, but openly criticizes hers.

Ayisha (Hadeel Sittu) - A Muslim raised college student who must hide her conversion to Christianity from her very traditional Muslim family lest she be disowned.

Of course, there was a cameo by Willie and Korie Robertson and a nice performance by the Newsboys

If you have not seen the movie and want to, be warned there is a spoiler or two ahead, so skip to the end.  If you have seen it, won't see it, or don't care....then by all means read on.

ATTENTION!  SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER

I do not read reviews before I see a movie.  I want to form my own opinion.  I have to admit, after the movie, I was still unsure of it's intention.  Even After I read numerous reviews, I was still unsure.  Some believed it was to provide evidence and sway the beliefs of agnostics.  Some stated it was evangelistic Christian propaganda aimed at discrediting science and portraying non-believers as evil, ruthless, and heartless.  Christian reviews claimed it to be an inspirational argument for the existence of God and story of faith.  The God's Not Dead official movie website did not set out a particular purpose.  What it did say is this: "The film will educate, entertain, and inspire moviegoers to explore what they really believe about God, igniting important conversations and life-changing decisions."

Was the intent to sway people who are on the fence about God to a direction of belief?  If so, it may have fallen shorter than they had planned unless someone is closer to believing than not.  

Was it to "bash" the big bad atheist?  No.  I don't believe it was.  While it may seem that way, you have to remember that movies often take extreme and almost unbelievable stances to make a point or provoke thought and conversation.  Look at movies like What Dreams May Come, Flatliners, Footloose (there's one with an condemning Christian father), 2012.  They all have extreme and unbelievable components, yet still make you think.  Besides, you have to account for Josh's girlfriend...a Christian, who dumps him for her own agenda.  It's not the religion that is demeaning, it is the human nature that believers have not surrendered.

Was the intent to bring to light the battles of freedom of religion in schools?  The end credits and cited court cases might lead one to believe so, but the lack of that topic being addressed during the movie says otherwise.

If the intent was to do as stated in the website, "educate, entertain, and inspire moviegoers to explore what they really believe about God" then I believe that was accomplished...at least among believers and those "closer to believing" agnostics.  Unfortunately, the "unbelievability factor," I fear, narrowed the target audience.

I am aware there that are some Christians that brutally and unlovingly attack those who do not share the same beliefs, but not all are like that.  I am aware that there are some angry, hateful, rude Christians, Atheists, Agnostics, etc.  Every demographic has the extreme few.  No need to be offended.  I promise that not all of us Christians believe you are a bad person.  We are called to love, not to hate.  I am sorry if you have experienced that kind of treatment from Christians.  You do not deserve it.  It is not what God has called us to do. 

Down to the nuts and bolts.  What did I get from this movie?  You really want to know?  I got that we are called to stand up for our beliefs and that it takes bravery and sacrifice to do so at times.  I got that even the strongest Christian feels lost and unsure of God's purpose for our individual lives.  I got that there are people who are facing silent enemies all alone and it is our job as Christians to show them a kind of love that can only come from God.  I got that God is a God of chances.  He gives us every opportunity, but leaves the choice to us to believe and accept that Jesus Christ died for our sins.  I got that Christians need to show love and support to each other and not abandon one another for selfish reasons.  I got that it is scary, but worth it to go against the grain.

My challenge to you:

For Atheists:  If you have seen or plan to see the movie, look past the over-dramatize Hollywood mess and look for the the message behind the extremism.  Look for the pain and emotional turmoil that real people experience.  Look for the positive things that Christians do and say in response to people in pain.  Look for the element of courage to support your beliefs.  Most of all, keep an open mind.  I am not saying you will be swayed, but hopefully you will better understand that the beliefs and personal missions of Christians are not what you may have experienced in the past.

For those on the "fence":  Don't watch this movie looking for the answer to the question of "Does God exist?"  Watch with the intention of understanding that there are others who struggle with doubt.  Watch with the understanding that we (Christians) are not mindless sheep.  There are experiences that you have not had, and that you don't understand yet, but if you are willing to take a chance with this whole faith thing, you might be surprised and what you find.  Faith is not dismissing science.  Faith and science actually go hand in hand.  The difference is that science is fallible because man is fallible.  Faith is not.

For Believers:  Do not go into this movie with the intention of cheering on the defeat of non-believers.  Watch with the intent to be inspired to stand up for your faith with love and compassion. Be inspired, and take action.  Be careful, though, not to believe that all non-believers act like those portrayed in the movie.  Recognize and hash out the Hollywood from the realistic. 

If you want to know if God exists, you have to seek Him. 

GOD IS NOT DEAD